Writing Skills for the Bac

Answer: Example: "With over 4.5 billion users worldwide, social media has become an integral part of modern life. While platforms like Instagram and TikTok have revolutionised communication and given voice to marginalised communities, growing evidence suggests they also fuel anxiety, spread disinformation, and erode privacy. This essay will argue that while social media offers undeniable benefits, its negative consequences currently outweigh its advantages, particularly for young people."

Answer: Corrected: "I agree with this idea. In fact, the internet makes it easier to communicate." Errors: 1) "I am agree" → "I agree" (no auxiliary needed). 2) "Actually" = "en fait" (not "actuellement"). 3) "Internet" needs "the" in British English. 4) "permits to" → "allows/enables" or "makes it possible to". 5) "communicate more easily" is better than "permits to communicate".

Answer: Example: "Admittedly, surveillance cameras have proven effective in deterring crime; for instance, studies in the UK suggest a 13% reduction in crime in areas with CCTV. Furthermore, they assist police investigations by providing crucial evidence. However, this security comes at a cost. Privacy campaigners argue that constant monitoring creates a chilling effect on free expression. Moreover, facial recognition technology has been shown to be less accurate for ethnic minorities, raising serious concerns about discrimination. Ultimately, the challenge is to balance legitimate security needs with fundamental civil liberties."

Answer: A hook is an opening sentence designed to grab the reader's attention. Three examples for AI: 1) Quote: "The development of AI is likely to be either the best or the worst thing ever to happen to humanity." — Stephen Hawking. 2) Startling fact: "By 2030, AI is expected to contribute $15.7 trillion to the global economy — more than the current output of China and India combined." 3) Provocative question: "If a self-driving car must choose between hitting a pedestrian or its passenger, who should it save?"

Answer: Formal version: "A growing body of research suggests that social media may have detrimental effects on young people's mental health." Changes: "Lots of" → "A growing body of research"; "think" → "suggests"; "is bad" → "may have detrimental effects"; "kids" → "young people"; added hedge ("may") for academic caution.